Challenged by my own muscles

This morning I woke up early. 3:30am early! With a horrible aching throughout my legs, feet and arms. My muscles heavy and painful. There was no way I was going back to sleep again, not now my pain receptors had been triggered.

Distracting myself by reading the news, flicking through Facebook and deleting the copious amounts of email that had plagued my inbox over the weekend. Nothing helped, so when Wayne got up for work and brought me a hot drink up, I was able to take some pain relief ( for what little worth they are). I’m not unfamiliar with this pain, I get it frequently, but today is more prolific. The simple things like putting one foot in front of the other requires more effort, concentration and determination. I liken it to walking through thick gloopy mud, it’s possible but it’s tiring and clumsy and I just know by the end of the day the pain will be off the scale and my tiredness overwhelming.

Fatigue is another associate of CMT and a frequent occurrence in my life. This is down to the body working harder to function with inadequate muscles. This past week it’s hit me, requiring a power nap during the day just so that I can feel safe doing things like driving or even using sharp knives. It possibly hadn’t been helped by having lots on my mind, such as my impending operations when I should be sleeping.

So the professionals recommend these things to help:

  • Get plenty of sleep – sounds obvious right? Try telling an overactive brain that at 3am!!
  • Lose weight – I can check that box, having lost 7 stone so far. My fatigue patterns don’t seem to have changed, however I do feel more energetic and absolutely amazing!
  • Reduce Stress – Hmmmm! Yeah right! I work for the NHS, seriously? Next!
  • Drink water – Whilst I do drink plenty during the day I can’t say that much of this is pure water. I should make an effort to do this.
  • Cut out alcohol and caffeine– I get this and maybe I should try decaffeinated Tea bags, but it has the potential of turning me into a grouch without a caffeine fix!

Now on the subject of alcohol, I did have a couple of glasses of red wine last night. Not something I usually drink, but I quite fancied it. It’s stronger than the spritz I would usually have. I am beginning to wonder if alcohol can cause my muscles to feel as bad as they do. It’s not the first time this has happened, but then it doesn’t happen every time I enjoy a drink containing alcohol. I never went too excessive last night either, only a couple of glasses of wine. Maybe this is an area for further research?

Being the dutiful wife I have done a tip run this morning, to ease the pressure on our bin that was already overflowing, despite collection day only being last Friday. Over the course of the weekend I had agreed to doing this along with the shopping as Wayne had been a busy bee replacing our back fencing with the neighbour all weekend and was out on a couple of gigs during the evenings. Shopping was the biggest issue for me today. My legs not wanting to work and the pain increasing. I went out to navigate my trolley around the supermarket. Trolleys have a mind of their own, so imagine fighting to get that to do what you need too and battling with your muscles to just hold out a little bit longer.

With the shopping packed away in the back of the car I sat in the drivers seat and I could have just cried there and then! The pain is immense. I feel so tired and I still had to get the damn stuff home yet. But thankfully my daughter Ellie was home and I furnished her with that task.

Had I not completed those tasks today, not only would I have felt a complete failure as a wife and as a parent, but CMT will have won! I doubt for one minute that Wayne or my girls would have thought of me as a failure. In my mind I have a role to fill and I can’t be sitting back and not get things done. I’ve explained to my family how I am feeling today and the difficulties I’m having, as I always do whenever I’m having a “bad day”. However, I can’t help but wonder if they actually do understand how all this feels. Do they just think I’m lazy or moaning again? Or even making up excuses to have a lazy day off. Because to be quite honest that’s exactly what I feel was needed today.

Lying here with my feet up having half hour to myself and hoping the pain will subside soon, I’m watching the clock and already dreading the prospect of getting up to start cooking our evening meal. No way are we going to have takeout. A proper meal is what’s needed. So I’ll suck it all in and crack on with it, as my mind starts drifting to the thought of a warm bath this evening to help gently ease the achy muscles in the hope I can wake pain free in the morning, ready for a long and tiring day working in the NHS!

Curse you CMT!!!

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